Gifts, Hospitality, & The Welcome Conference

Hey Beloved—

Later this week I’m heading to New York City for my second time at The Welcome Conference, hosted by Will Guidara and his Unreasonable Hospitality team.

I get to share the trip with my wife, which makes it even sweeter.

The Welcome Conference is one of those gatherings that lingers long after it ends. It’s not just talks on a stage — it’s a room full of people who believe hospitality has the power to change the world. People who remind me that this work isn’t just about restaurants, hotels, or events — it’s about a posture of life.

Every time I go, I leave re-centered in why this matters. Hospitality isn’t just a tactic or a side project. It’s a redemptive and maybe the most redemptive practice.

And as I’ve been preparing for this trip, another book has been sitting with me:

Giftology.

It’s had me thinking deeply about generosity, connection, and what it really means to give.

So let’s dive in.

What Giftology Reminds Me

The heartbeat of the book is simple: the best gifts build genuine connection. They don’t just check a box or fill a calendar slot. They make someone feel seen in a way that lingers. And it’s that feeling that drives loyalty and referrals.

But one line stopped me in my tracks:

A gift about you is not really a gift.

That one sentence reframed so much of what I’ve seen — and, honestly, what I’ve done myself.

Because let’s be honest, so many “gifts” are thinly disguised marketing.

• The YETI with your logo.

• The pen with your name.

• The branded polo, shirt, or other chotskies.

It’s not that these things are bad — they can be thoughtful in their own way. But at the end of the day, they still circle back to the giver. The spotlight is still on me.

And when that happens, the gift loses its power. It doesn’t create wonder. It doesn’t create loyalty. It doesn’t create belonging.

What Hospitality Teaches Us

That realization made me see the same truth in hospitality.

Hospitality about you is not really hospitality.

When the experience says, “look how clever we are,”
instead of “welcome, we've been thinking of you,”
it misses the mark.

And I know I’ve fallen into that trap before — trying to make something memorable by making it flashy, instead of making it personal. But flash only entertains for a moment. Presence is what gets remembered.

Salt teaches us this.

Salt disappears into the meal.
It doesn’t demand attention.
It doesn’t need to be noticed to be powerful.
But without it, the whole thing falls flat.

That’s the way of redemptive hospitality.
Not “look what I gave you.”
But “I thought of you. I see you. You matter.”

That kind of hospitality doesn’t circle back to me — it circles back to them. And that’s where transformation happens.

A Practice for This Week

So here’s a practice I’m carrying into this week:

Whenever I give something — a gift, an experience, even my time — I’m asking myself:

• Is this about me?

• Or is this about them?

It’s such a subtle distinction, but it changes everything.

Because when something is about me, it leaves an impression for a moment and then fades.

But when it’s about them, it lodges in their memory. It becomes a story they tell. It becomes part of their identity.

And that’s what hospitality is really about — not giving people a moment to admire us, but giving them a moment they’ll never forget about themselves.

Why I’m Writing This

I write these notes because I need the reminder too.

Left to myself, I drift toward the easy wins — the gifts that look generous but aren’t, or the hospitality that looks impressive on the outside but isn’t really about the guest.

But that’s not the work I want to give my life to.

Hospitality is salt. It’s ordinary. It vanishes into the moment. But it makes everything around it more alive.

And that’s the kind of work worth building a life around.

With gratitude,
Nathan

P.S. October 1, I’m opening the doors to the next Hospitality OS Workshop. If you’ve been curious about turning “salt moments” into a repeatable system for your business, this is where we’ll build it together. Just reply to this email and we will get you info!