Hey Beloved,
I just returned from Refuge in Montana.
A few years ago, this place became holy ground for me.
It helped call me back to hospitality.
Not hospitality as an industry.
Hospitality as a posture.
The work of creating places where people feel welcomed, cared for, known, and reminded that they are beloved.
This time, I returned needing to receive what I am usually trying to give.
To be served.
To be filled back up.
To fish, laugh, pray, and sit beside men pursuing redemptive work in their families, businesses, and communities.
And while I came home grateful for the fish, the friendships, and the beauty of Montana, I keep thinking about the young men and women who served us.
Because they did not look much like “hospitality professionals.”
And that might be the point.
They hire for something else
Refuge brings in young men and women from across the country.
Some are straight out of high school.
Some are still in high school.
Some are in college.
Some are newly married and figuring out adulthood as they go.
They are a little rough around the edges. Maybe a bit rowdy.
Fresh when it comes to formal hospitality.
They say “Yeehaw.”
They say “Amen.”
They might even cuss a little.
And somehow, they make you feel incredibly welcome.
They guide you on the boats.
They untie your knots.
They clear your plate at the table.
They notice when your drink is empty.
And when the day is done, they are willing to sit beside you at the fire and talk.
No performance.
No uptightness.
Just care, hustle, and a willingness to move toward people.
Maybe we have been hiring backward
We tend to look for polished.
Buttoned up.
Well educated.
Professionally trained.
And there is nothing wrong with any of that.
Training matters.
Excellence matters.
But I wonder if we have confused the packaging of hospitality with the posture of it.
Because you can teach someone how to set a table.
You can teach them how to guide a boat.
You can teach when to refill a glass, how to reset a room, and what needs to happen before the next guest arrives.
But it is much harder to teach someone to give a damn.
To notice without being asked.
To move when something needs doing.
To care whether another person feels alone.
The people serving your guests/customers do not necessarily need to be hospitality professionals.
They need to be hospitable.
Hire the posture
Heart alone is not enough.
Refuge has built the culture, leadership, expectations, and systems that help young, inexperienced people turn genuine care into dependable service.
That is the work.
Hire the posture.
Teach the skill.
Build the system.
Protect the culture.
Then trust people enough to let their humanity come through.
Yeehaw and all.
Welcome in action
The next person who transforms your guest experience may not have the resume you expected.
Look beyond the polish.
Look for the one who notices.
The one who moves toward a need instead of away from it.
The one willing to clear the plate, fill the glass, and pull up a chair by the fire.
Then give them the training, tools, and culture they need to serve people well.
Because hospitality is not about performing perfection.
It is about helping people feel seen, cared for, and glad they came.
So before your next hire, ask one question that gets beneath experience:
“Tell me about a time you noticed someone needed something before they asked.”
Then listen.
Not for the perfectly polished answer.
Listen for posture.
With you in the pursuit,
Nathan 🧂
P.S. Who is the most hospitable person you know who has never worked a day in “hospitality”? I would love to hear about them.
P.P.S.
Get yourself a squad of friends.
